Petey died during the summer of 2022. I adopted him when he was three, and he was my constant canine companion for over a decade.Thankfully, he was with me throughout the Covid-19 lockdown and isolation. Living alone and having a dog is a significant commitment, it requires more time being home and time away is curtailed (what an appropriate word). I would venture to say that for Petey and I, the lockdown was our best stretch of quality time together ever.
The truth is, I don’t feel as strong a connection to people and the city when I’m dogless. I become a less social person and even lack the motivation to leave the apartment. I’ve gone from going outside four times a day, to coming in from work Friday and not leaving until Monday morning. It’s been like this for almost two-years. I’ve lost the desire to take myself for a walk.
Petey and I would walk from my place to Pier 84 and watch the sunset. I haven’t been back since. I’d feel too much like a sad single interloper watching all the happy people. Petey seemed to make me more interesting, more dimensional, and more appropriate when it came to watching the sunset, sandwiched on the wooden dock between the Intrepid and Circle Line Cruises. From my apartment window I can see the tip of the Intrepid and can’t help to think, at least socially, that I’ve been decommissioned too.
I don’t expect to be content all the time. I also don’t expect to feel alone when I live in the heart of NYC and have social capital to spend, but that takes desire and effort to disperse. On May 3, 2023, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy released an advisory on the alarming rise and “devastating impact of the Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation in the United States,” and, although exacerbated by the Covid-19 crisis, the concerns predated that. The study noted that “one-in-two” adults experience this social disconnection. Although I have been a student since 2018, almost all my classes have been asynchronous. The delicate social thread that connected me to the physical world was a six-pound long-haired Chihuahua.
With all the time invested towards a degree, The New School had remained a lonely place the few times I set foot on campus. As an (older) adult student, I watched a flurry of activity both academically and socially which only reminded me of experiences long passed. That feeling of loneliness and isolation was disengagement, and it was further compounded when I lost Petey.
Graduating this May and enjoying a light class load, I’ve been consumed by pet adoption sites like wagtopia, petfinder, and Adopt a Pet. With the briefest of unvetted pet bios and at times low quality online photos, I construct inaccurate analyses and counterfactual backstories. Perhaps I’m longing for writing workshops or I simply have too much time on my hands. I liken this quest to using something like Tinder®. I often theoretically swipe left and move on. This is either a perfect metaphor for the experience of using Tinder®, or an indication I never have. However, I did delve deep into the Tinder® Intellectual Property page and when I have more time, I’d love to know what the hell swipe surge™ is.
Reconnecting socially isn’t always easy and I believe we should be especially kind to those who find themselves on dog Tinder®. Doesn’t everyone deserve a swipe right®? That’s not a rhetorical question, I can’t stress enough that I don’t know how Tinder® works. What I do know is that somewhere out there, at the right time, is my next Petey, a valuable social addition to the new friends I’ve made serving on the 12th Street editing staff.
Sindy’s DOG tinder® Search
Meet Lizzie Leia. Her characteristics: Friendly, Affectionate, Loyal, Playful, Smart, Brave, Curious, Funny, Loves kisses. I was hoping opposites attract, (although we share up-to-date vaccinations). I filled out the application but her shelter never called.
Meet Pina & Colada: I believe these two looking for a forever home will eventually kill me and take over my lease. They reminded me of the Menendez brothers.
Meet Chuckie. He fit my criteria. The dog is small but I think he looks hungry and I worry that he’ll grow beyond what my lease allows. I imagine losing my apartment and although I’d love him forever, I’d also resent him for the rest of our lives.
Meet DeeDee. She’s scared of people and has a few more issues that start with terrified of… The person fostering her shared, I’ve let her be a home-body, and avoided taking her on walks and car rides. Welcome to my life DeeDee. That’s what I’m trying to conquer, too.
Meet Griffin the Boston Terrier. It’s just a photo but he’s already looking at me like I’m an asshole. This picture screams, Swipe left, swipe left, I implore you to swipe left.
Meet Lexi. I think she looks possessed and it doesn’t help that her preferred surface is laden with human skulls. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with Lexi in the apartment. I recognize that vet bills are part of having pets but I’m not willing to invest in dog exorcisms.
Meet Maple. She’s a pit bull terrier mix. Although Maple is too large for consideration, I hope the rescue will consider using a much better picture. She’s very beautiful and I don’t know why they chose one that looks like she’s doing twenty to life for killing her last owner.
Meet Charlie. Since DeeDee, he’s the most like me. His description includes energetic (though I doubt that), and Loves to bury himself in his blanket while in his crate. I imagine the hours we’d stare at each other, he in his crate, me in my bed, as time remains irrelevant to us. With similar coloring and taste in bedding, I feel he’s too relatable.
Meet Kornelia. She’s 2 years old, 20 pounds and not house trained. She’s more than I can handle but I find myself strangely attracted to her. Kornelia reminds me of Paul Giamatti and I always thought he and I would make a good couple.
Far from feeling lonely or isolated, my entire year has turned out to be uniquely collaborative, a literary and arts aggregation of the highest caliber, each editor bringing forth their personal visions in support of the collective. We are writers, poets and artists, some on the cusp of graduation others with semesters to come.
As co-blog editor with Aaron Steinberg and Daniel Beutter on 12th Street this year, I found new threads of connection, amassed new skills, and developed perhaps an unhealthy obsession with Instagram photos of ballet dancers who are trainers at Equinox and wear crop tops throughout the winter months. Truly aaronstein21. A new inspiration to reconnect further.
For many years I have been an impossibly private person. For over two decades my front door mat has “ALL FRIENDS & HEROES WELCOME” in small print, with “FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE” in a significantly larger font—a somewhat mixed message to be sure. But now, as graduation approaches, and my time at The New School winds down, I am inspired to seek out new human threads. Nothing can replace my experience this year with the entire 12th Street staff, especially our Editor-in-Chief Taylor Syfan and faculty advisor Seth Graves, who along with all editors made me cherish my time on campus and provided a much needed support group. New connections await in this great city to write about from outside and inside my fortress. My Tinder®-like (maybe, sort of?) search for a dog companion will continue. As for 12th Street, there is no replacement, but there is a sense of pride and knowing that I’ve been part of a storied history and 2023-24 is yet another one for the archives.